the great war!

so this afternoon, i was planning to have a nice long shower after sports because i was all smelly and sweaty and sticky. scrub scrub shower shower. it would've been enjoyable if not for the appearance of uninvited guests. the cockroaches. i have this showerscreen thingy in my bathroom but i rarely use it. decided to use it this time because the fan was blowing at me. i slide it to the right..and the this mini cockroach was there. shoot it down and into the hole it went! done! i continued taking my shower happily till i saw another bigger one. i glared at it for a moment before i start using my toilet pipe and shot it. i want to give it some wonderful and unforgetable moments before it goes down the hole. and i won! ok, enough of that. i didn't really hate them that much till today.

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something which i've be pondering about lately..

i used to be a straightfoward person.. why am i not now?? i think many times before i open my mouth now..U_U i remember there used to be this guy who sat in front of my in class during those highschool days.he had this B.O which my friends and i kept talking about. then i just blurted out that he has B.O la. not so direct, but any sane person would get the signal. then my friend sitting next to me was like "wei, shh! so straightfwd for wat?". haih.

i used to be quite ignorant when it comes to friends. yes, i love them and i care about them and i hang out with them. but i never worried about friendship issue.. it was all happy happy for me all the time. also, during highschool, i begin getting out of my lil shell and begin talking to more people, mixing around, be friendly, smiley smiley. so imagine hw quiet i used to be before that. HOWEVERRR, im back into my shell..again...why is this happening to me?

i want to be friendly, but to me now, it takes up alot of energy. i want to make lots of friends. yet, i know i'm not one of those kind who can just chat up with anybody. i need people to come to me(dad, you described me perfectly >_>) and i hate it likes this. i wonder if being friendly is a natural born talent, because i can't T_T i am an antisocial.

i used to wonder why this friend S used to be so concerned about her friends. she takes friends SERIOUSLY, like seriously. and it hurts her whenever her good friends couldnt spend time with her and bla. she values her friends, and makes sure that they are close knit. now i think im going thru the same thing as her.damn! okay, maybe something like that. i m so bad at describing that i would rather become a toilet cleaner than a journalist/author/bla.

i think, im going through puberty once again because only youngteenagers complain and get all confused with all these friendship stufff! but why is it happening now la... this is so sad. i thought it should only happen years ago when i used to be in highschool!! shhsh.